Much Ado About Having Sexual Intercourse With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a huge week for homosexual-related very first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our very own basic portion comes to us via xojane, the ladies’s site went right up by Jane Pratt (my character)

(i am serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion belongs to the “it just happened to Me” function which also existed at JANE magazine and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating individual experiences.

The unknown composer of this portion, whom I’ll phone “Ariel,” is truly bisexual, but because she easily supplies strike tasks to the woman male associates but doesn’t go out or often go lower on females, she’s, she clarifies, officially, merely a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also describes herself as “mostly straight” and “right” at some other things inside the story.) The woman reputation began, she clarifies, when the woman basic lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at her school — went down on her for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it after which right away fled the scene fearing her own failure to execute such great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long period.

She writes:

“Needless to say, term got around that she and I also had installed and that I’d remaining their holding, which had the unusual aftereffect of providing me personally folk-heroine condition. Kelly also known as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It absolutely was like some type of motion picture conceit where in actuality the hero is actually seen erroneously as a high profile and extends to ride in a limo and stay in an elegant lodge because of it.”

This it seems that entirely resolved within her benefit, as she romped about in school connecting with lots of “aggressive kinds who had gotten off on proven fact that I found myself unwilling to allow a girl touch myself.” Post-college, she managed to move on into the internet, where she promoted their relaxed status and sometimes met with ladies for NSA sex.

Near the end she problematically explains that whenever hooking up with a woman she is maybe not keen on, she simply closes her vision and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] does her thing.” Sometimes it appears like she desires females to eat the woman away even though they are allegedly much better at it than guys are. She

could

go down on it but “I am not matchmaking all of them, and that I don’t believe i’d wish to have my fetish corrupted by taking care of somebody adequate to give back.”

I mightn’t want to sit next to Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided intimate encounters tend to be consensual and she is simply advising a true story of her existence, so I’m not necessarily positive what things to model of this (and I also’m curious to know what you make from it, if everything).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Men Project
) we’ve
We hitched a Lesbian (And I’m men)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to have crushes on the same brand of woman: the star baseball member, the football forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some weren’t.” He wondered:

What is it that received me personally oftentimes to ladies who had been same-sex lured? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy with what these were undertaking in bed, therefore certainly had nothing at all to do with a macho belief that i really could change a gay lady right.

In elements, the portion (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded myself within this estimate from

The Girls Next Door

,
which I cited in a write-up about female masculinity
:

“…if we’d to produce one other generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that many all of us tend to be incredibly drawn to females, gay or directly, gorgeous or perhaps not, exactly who look just as if they could look after themselves.”

The writer ultimately marries a lesbian whom offered as directly, in which he found their own ensuing sexual life become unsatisfactory. She refused to give him strike tasks and failed to enjoy entrance but gladly accepted their choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their own sexless marriage ended in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he is apparently caring to his ex-wife’s fight instead of marking the woman as deceptive (as many of commenters perform):

She had result from a conservative household who have been deeply embarrassed to have a gay son or daughter. She may always have understood, but performed the lady best to conceal it, probably wanting that her feelings might transform. Or she might-have-been like lots of females I recognized, and simply found the woman genuine sexual identity after already being hitched to men.

What’s redeeming about this essay to me that the writer’s conception of his very own gender is generally without the original male posturing one might expect in an item such as this (the guy even identifies themselves as “femmy”). Maybe it seems that means because men very rarely write about hoping powerful, athletic, effective ladies with short-hair; but it’s energizing none the less.

Really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique tales, but it is really worth mentioning that both narratives frequently drive in the concept that room conduct is the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy missed, whenever entrance is actually barely an entirely heterosexual act (this indicates more likely Courtney feared the intimacy of penetration with men she did not truly want are with, but really that knows) and falling in love, eventually, is about the vagina but it’s additionally about your cardiovascular system and it is generally about having intimate feelings. Those romantic emotions are the thing that converts a hook-up connection into a relationship, most likely.

Ultimately at

nerve.com

we a sweet story straight from horse’s mouth area —
My Personal Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I do believe this is the first-time the “first-time” series has actually showcased a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, mcdougal confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian emotions for her, along with her best friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian relationship and are still collectively now and this woman is a grown-up during the military!

It appears they will have however to take their unique union outside of the dresser, which will be quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Looks like this tale ended up being authored before DADT was actually repealed, though it just adopted released, for that reason you’ll find nothing puzzling going on right here. This is simply straight-up nice atlanta divorce attorneys method, unequivocally.]

The main focus with the portion (and that’s really adorable and sweet) is found on the writer’s breakthrough of
just what lesbian gender is quite
:

We had never come down for each different, and I was actually pretty sure that is what we would meant whenever we mentioned we planned to have sex. (today we realize there’s more to fucking than licking a woman’s vagina and calling it everyday.)

She concludes:

I am aware that many men and women differ as to what virginity means to a gay girl, but virginity is entirely personal, plus it actually relies upon whom you’re asking. Many people might say penetration has to be included, but i do believe it really is doing the person dropping his or her virginity. Basically feel like i have missing my virginity, subsequently goddammit, i’ve!

I’ve invested most of the early morning and mid-day staring at wordpress, racking your brains on just what point i really could create about these pieces. I was thinking a great deal about why we’d never ever release “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this internet site but can’t get past the explanation that I’d worry 50 people would vow to never get back right here together with remaning many-thousands of you would fight with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before the temperature loss of the world. I pictured some body distributing “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via email and I dreamed the article conference where we’d get to that tale as well as say “NO” on top of that.

In seeking a place to gleam because of these tales, i have tried to determine what you might imagine or say, and I also cannot, and I need complete this post as quickly as possible to increase the process of me personally determining what you believe about these stories. Yup, the very first time from the time beginning Autostraddle, I’ve got not a clue what to state about a thing. Very possibly I should simply ask you to answer — what is actually your reaction to these parts?